Showing posts with label Lawak/Joke. Show all posts

Malaysia Typing Speedtest

Posted by Azrul in Kisah Lucu, Lawak/Joke, Nasihat, Software

http://malaysian-speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com/

0 comments »

Reading Test

Posted by Azrul in Kisah Lucu, Lawak/Joke, Nasihat

Amazing right!!!

0 comments »

Cara Elak Suami Kahwin Lagi

Posted by Azrul in Lawak/Joke

Seorang suami sedang mencari-cari helah untuk membolehkan dia berkahwin lagi.

Antara alasan yang diberikannya:

Suami : Lelaki kawin 3 baru lah sah
Isteri : Kenapa pula?
Suami : Cuba terjemahkan ke dalam Bahasa Inggeris, "satu" is one, "dua" is two, "tiga"
isteri (is three). Baru betul dan sah!.
Isteri : Tapi abang kena faham Bahasa Inggeris, terutama tentang "singular" dan "plural"
Suami : Berkenaan apa tu?
Isteri : Satu tu "Singular"; dua atau lebih "Plural"
Suami : Contohnya?
Isteri : One car sebagai singular, two cars sebagai plural. Apa bezanya?
Suami : Ohhh... tambah huruf "s" untuk yang plural
Isteri : Betul tu. Sama juga la untuk abang
Suami : Macam mana pula boleh sama?
Isteri : Satu isteri abang MAMPU, jika dua isteri dah jadi plural, maka abang MAMPUS
tambah "s" je, kan?

Lepas daripada tu, si-suami tidak pernah lagi berceritakan hasratnya untuk berkahwin lagi...

Sumber: http://ludin18.blogspot.com

0 comments »

Family Problems

Posted by Azrul in Lawak/Joke

Once two men sat in a bar drinking.

The first one said to the other ,"I have a hell lot of family problems."
The second one said ,"I'll tell you mine.
I married a widow having a young daughter.
My father married my daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son.
My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle.
Situations turned worse when my father had a son.
Now my father's son I.e. My brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.
And you say you have family problems".

Sumber: Joke Today

0 comments »

Wife is Like TV

Posted by Azrul in Lawak/Joke

Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP).
At home watch TV, go out bring HP.
No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.
Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.
TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,
Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have..
Last but not least....... .
TV do not have virus, but h/p yes, have VIRUS, once get it, HABIS LA!
so better choose TV!

Sumber: Today Joke

0 comments »

Joke Omputeh

Posted by Azrul in Lawak/Joke

Thinking fast, by kids in grade school

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"

JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WILLIE: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to! the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."

ELLEN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."

ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

PUPIL: A teacher.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

sumber: Today Joke

0 comments »

Kempen Politik di Label

Posted by Azrul in Gambar, Lawak/Joke

sumber today joke

0 comments »

Traffic Generator - Drive 33000 Hits a Day to your Website!

Build a Highway and drive
33,000 Hits a Day to your Website !

First, check out the sites in the box below. These are member sites which has participated in the program and can testify that this program truly works ! By visiting these sites, you will see why this program will work for you as well.

PARTICIPATING SITES - Visit them Today !

INSTRUCTIONS on how to get at least 33,000 Hits a day!

When you sign up, you will receive your own page just like this one. It will have your link and its description in position #1.In position #2 will be the link that is now in position #1 on this page. All other links are moved down as well and the one in #6 is dropped.
When people visit your page and sign up, they too will get a new page. And your link will be copied onto their page. Their page will have their link in position #1 and your link in position #2. And when people come to the pages created by the people who came to your page, your link goes to position #3, etc..

Of course the next step is to get visitors to your new "33,000 Hits a day" page. As a result, we recommend that you utilise our Auto URL Submission program to submit your Website Address to major search engines.

To prove that this program works, lets do some very conservative mathematics and assume that once your page is installed and promoted you only generates a total of 20 sign ups.
Pages with your link!
1. 20 people visit your page and get their own page	20
2. These 20 pages each produce 20 sign ups producing 20 x 20 pages = 400 pages	400
3. These 400 pages each produce 20 sign ups each, producing 400 x 20 = 8000 pages	8000
4. These 8000 pages each produce 15 sign ups producing 8000 x 20 = 160,000 pages	160,000
5. These 160,000 pages each produce 20 sign ups producing 160,000 x 20 = 3,200,000 pages	3,200,000
Total pages with your link:	3,368,420

Of these 3,368,420 pages with your link we will assume 1% of their visitors will actually click on your link and visit your page. That's 33,684 hits a day!. Additionally every page is generated by our script which means that the rotation and placement of your link is 100% accurate and cannot be removed or dropped prior to its natural demise.

Sign up simply consist of your URL and your web site description..Your page will be generated immediately and then you can go on to our installation and free promotional pages.

You should also appreciate the fact that there is no upper limit to the number of hits you can get, because you can keep your page for as long as you want and it in turn will generate more than the stipulated signup figure of 20.

Also, after you have installed your page, there is no more work involved. Just let this system run by itself and it will give you 33,000 hits a day or more.

Good Luck and make sure you place your generated page at a visible and easy to reach area so that people can join and make this program work!

Please be sure to visit the above links before you sign up!!

Ready?.. Go for it!! there is nothing to lose and fantastic traffic to gain!